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About Me Member Deviously Deviant Kodeshi ~KoH~ Lanz19/Female/Philippines Recent Activity Deviant for 4 Years
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Betrayal...

Betrayal is the greatest sin of all... It plays with a person's trust and knowing that trust can let you get away with it... It breaks even the strongest hearts, and makes the fiercest fires grow cold... It has been the sin of all chaos...

When Did I Realize That I Was Falling?

Thu Nov 19, 2009, 8:09 AM
  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: The Voice of Malice and Hate
  • Reading: The Lines of Fate
  • Watching: The Future Unfold
  • Playing: With Humanity. They Deserve It
  • Eating: Pocky! Anata watashi mo Pocky!
  • Drinking: Liquer
I was listening to "Hatak" (Pull) by The Dawn. It's Filipino and I doubt there'll be a translation for it. I'm not the best translator (as Filipino is still my Waterloo; I do better in English...)but I guess I'll give it a shot. The translations may sound weird as these are direct translations, I'll try to explain the idioms/expressions.

Humintay ang sikat ng araw /The dawn waited
Sa pusong madilim / in a dark heart
Upang makita ang sariling, /Just to see itself
Ligaw at dumaraing / lost and wailing

Sa'n ba 'ko huling lumiko? / Where did I last turn?
Di ko na matandaan. / I don't remember.
Marami nang binuhos ang mundo / The world has given a lot*
Isa-isa lang / One at a time
Mahina ang kalaban / The enemy is weak
Mahina ang kalaban / The enemy is weak

May kaunting panahon ka pa / You still have a little more time
Para ako ay sagipin / to save me
Hatak lang ang kailangan ko / All I need is a pull
Ayokong mahulog sa bangin. / I don't want to fall into the abyss

Kung ika'y aking nasaktan / If I've hurt you
Ako sana'y patawarin / I hope you forgive me
Tao lang / Only human
Tao lang kaibigan / I'm only human friend
Ang langit ay hanap parin / Still searching for heaven

Sa'n ba 'ko huling lumiko?
Di ko na matandaan.
Marami nang binuhos ang mundo
Isa-isa lang
Mahina ang kalaban
Mahina ang kalaban

May kaunting panahon ka pa
Para ako ay sagipin
Hatak lang ang kailangan ko
Ayokong mahulog sa bangin.

Tignan mo ako nang may pagmamahal /Look at me with love
Yan lamang aking hiling sa iyo. / That's all I ask of you

Isa-isa lang / One at a time
Isa-isa lang
Isa-isa lang
Ang paghakbang / Step one at a time

May kaunting panahon ka pa
Para ako'y sagipin
Hatak lang ang kailangan ko
Ayokong mahulog sa bangin

Mahulog sa bangin

Mahulog sa bangin

Isa-isa lang

*It basically means that you have a lot on your hands (that the world has probably thrown at you), and you're overwhelmed by it; avoiding bombardment by wanting to take it one at a time.

The song just pretty much sums up what I feel these past years.

And I guess I wonder why I'm hanging on to a cliff. I'm not even sure if it's my own volition. Is it because I trusted too much... That I'm relying on someone else me to pull me up? But then again, on my own, I could be successful. But I choose not to.

I guess I want to trust again. I trust people that much. I entrust my life to them at first meeting. I wanted to fall... I can't stand being on the top... It's lonely. I'm... Happy I guess. Because as I fall, I realize that there are people who willingly leap and hold on to me to keep me from falling further. ... I'll eventually let go... Deep inside I know I would. But I guess I want to believe... That even I am worth saving... That even I deserve to live.

I don't know why I felt lost in the first place. Was it because of the sea of confusion that dragged me in its undertow? Even in the confusion, I am aware of where I was... What I was... What I would be... But now it isn't that clear for me anymore. Is it because I strayed on the path I know? The path that was lain out for me? Nor why I feel the need for someone to look at me... Only me. Not what others have painted me to be. With understanding, but not pity, not sympathy. Accepting eyes that tell me what they really feel. Not a mask, but a window.

But then again, the world gives us more what we seemingly can handle... Is this the way for me to prove my worth? Or is the way to prove others' worth to me? Either way, I hope the dawn will finally shine through this haze... But even if I'll end up falling into the abyss, I hope I'll be able to see them as I fall... Even just one person who tried...

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Devious Info

  • Interests: a little bit of everything, but mostly food.
  • Favourite movie: FFVII:Advent Children... Go CLOUD!!!! Go Sephie!!
  • Favourite band or musician: Sunset Swish... Does the composer Michiru Yamane count?
  • Favourite genre of music: suicidal hardcore heavy metal??
  • Favourite artist: Vincent van Gough (correct spelling???)/ Ayami Kojima
  • Favourite poet or writer: Edgar Allan Poe.... quoeth the Raven Nevermore....
  • Operating System: Windows
  • MP3 player of choice: iFake
  • Favourite game: Castlevania, Diablo & DMC!!! WHOO!!! Dante Vs. Vergil!!!! + Nero!!!!!!
  • Favourite gaming platform: ??? Depends
  • Favourite cartoon character: depends which series.... Go Yami Yugi!!! Ancient Egypt Rocks!!!
  • Personal Quote: Eh??? (Motto: Expect nothing from me... because I expect nothing from you.)
  • Tools of the Trade: Coloring pencils??? hands... tv... internet... food... bondpaper!!!! uh... dunno....

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Comments


:iconkaraii:
Thank you for the watch! :love:

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:)
:iconkodeshi:
No problem =) :headbang: Cool gallery!

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Hate taints the soul... Brings about nothing but evil... Banishes light... Pulls you deeper into despair... Blurs out any clarity in existence... And it gives nothing but pain... All this may be true... But that is how I choose to live.
:iconaion-laven-walker:
Hi! I'm Aion, your fanfic reader XD

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Don't rush anything...just enjoy it bit by bit...
:iconkodeshi:
Actually, it's my friend's (Ashterah) fanfic. O.o She writes, I draw ^^;

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Hate taints the soul... Brings about nothing but evil... Banishes light... Pulls you deeper into despair... Blurs out any clarity in existence... And it gives nothing but pain... All this may be true... But that is how I choose to live.
:iconaion-laven-walker:
Oh... XD

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Don't rush anything...just enjoy it bit by bit...
:icondarkside-ky:
Thanks for the fav, but you should check out my revised version "Ab Fatum Arbor".

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Na-na-na-naze...Ho-ho-ho-honki de ta-ta-ta-tataka wa nain da!
:iconscenicillusions:
Thanks for the watch =)

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  /l、
゙(゚、 。 7
 l、゙ ~ヽ
 じしf_, )ノ
This is Kitty. Copy Kitty to your signature to help her achieve world domination.
:iconkodeshi:
No prob. :D

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Hate taints the soul... Brings about nothing but evil... Banishes light... Pulls you deeper into despair... Blurs out any clarity in existence... And it gives nothing but pain... All this may be true... But that is how I choose to live.
:iconbutt-munchh--x:
I tagged you!

[link]

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i'm faking my own suicide
because i know you love me
you just haven't realized.. :heart:
:iconzainess:
hi ate tere! xbi nah ngah buh familiar ung drawing! kirby 2,,

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